Whenever someone came to me with a problem, I used to get into solution mode by default. Here’s where you’re going wrong. Here’s what you should do. On one fine day, a friend threw their hands into the air and said, “Don’t give me solutions. Just say that sucks!”
I was surprised. I was always looking to give solutions. How else could I provide value to them in their times of need?
After analyzing a lot of scenarios and talking to more friends, I realized that most of the times, people just want to be heard. Seen. Known. They prolly have more context anyway. They don’t want to hear solutions. They already know what to do. Just need to come to terms with it.
Listening someone out can be one of the most high-value gifts you can give. Don’t have to console. A good starting point is to just ask, “Do you want advice or do you want to vent?”
Sit with them. Give your undivided attention to them. Listen to what they say. Create a safe space for them to do what they feel like without any judgment and share what’s on their mind. If they start crying, let them. Let them be.